Your Vagina Is Terrific

I am blessed to feel, act, think and believe in equality.  The following sentence caught my attention, "Women deferring to men about most things is infuriating enough, but about their most intimate body parts?" Dr. Gunter's article is classic to understand Gender Equality or Gender Pluralism. 

Courtesy New York Times 

CreditCreditIllustration by Claire Milbrath
By Jen Gunter
Dec. 21, 2018

Illustration by Claire Milbrath

When I was in my 20s and already a doctor, I still let my sexual partners believe they were the experts in female anatomy, despite the fact that I was studying to be an OB/GYN. These men would tell me things that were untrue and I would count ceiling tiles while they fumbled around in the wrong ZIP code, if you know what I mean.

Instead of correcting them, I just nodded and faked my share of orgasms because I prioritized men feeling comfortable over my own sexual pleasure.

It’s enraging that faking orgasms to satisfy a man’s sexual script has not been confined to the trash heap of bad history. Studies tell us that up to 67 percent of women who have experienced penile-vaginal intercourse have faked orgasms. All for reasons painfully familiar to me: not wanting to hurt my male partner’s feelings, knowing I won’t be listened to, feeding his ego or simply wanting the sex to end.

We rarely talk openly about what’s required for a woman to have a good sexual experience, and so many heterosexual women learn the mechanics of sex and female orgasms from movies (most of which are written, directed and produced by ... men). What I like to call the three-strokes-of-penetration-bite-your-lip-arch-the-back-and-moan routine.


As if.

The other place women learn the mechanics of heterosexual sex? From the least educated person — a male partner who, statistically speaking, likely induced many fake orgasms.

Read Dr. Gunter’s first column
My Vagina Is Terrific. Your Opinion About It Is Not.Nov. 16, 2017

More than once I’ve had a male partner ask to have his female partner’s clitoris pointed out during a gynecological exam. While it’s great that he’s interested, I also think, “Come on, dude, you’ve been together for 10 years and you’re asking me?”


So I smile, give him an anatomy lesson and point out that he was with the local expert all along. It’s no wonder that the joke about men being unable to ask for directions never gets old for women.

Women deferring to men about most things is infuriating enough, but about their most intimate body parts?

We need the patriarchy out of the bedroom as much as we need it out of the boardroom.

Many years ago I decided to take back my body and claim my confidence. This was about both owning my years of education and accepting only a worthy male partner. A man truly interested in learning what I like.

Gender Pluralism and Misogyny

At the Center for Pluralism, we will explore if misogyny is religiously sanctioned or men took it upon themselves to make things to work for them. The unintended consequence of such acts was making a villain out of God and religion.

A few Men tend to be insecure about their own worth compared to women and devise ways to feel secure by causing women to be vulnerable. I am not talking about the Taliban in a distant land, but our own Taliban mindset here in America who deny women the right to choose what she does with her body, rejecting her equal pay, and expect her to defer her to her husband.

"A woman should behave like a woman" "Her place is home" echo the insecure religious men from Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist and other traditions.

Women have put up with this crap from men far too long, and it's time we feel, act, talk and behave like equals. The silence of the right people is considered an endorsement to the right-wing views on women. The majority needs to speak up continuously. 

An excellent functional society strives to be just to every citizen when justness becomes a norm in every aspect of life - be it between spouses, family members, members of the community, town, state, and the nation, then people trust each other and mind their own business and let others be free from tensions.

Don't look to any one group to blame, look at yourselves first. A sentence that I have been repeating lately is "for every Muslim ass; there is a Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh or other ass" add hole if you want to.

Eventually, we need to realize that individuals must be held accountable for their wrongdoing, and not their religion.

I believe everything on the earth is created to seek its balance, whether it is matter or individual, family or a nation. Everyone struggles to have that elusive equilibrium which goes off balance as regularly as it is desired to be in balance.

For years, Islam has been at the forefront of receiving the accusations, but when I study Islam, it is not the religion, it is the men. The Christians find it convenient to blame the Old Testament, instead of doing the research and seeing what God meant.

Prophet Muhammad had time and again said, "Justice:" among people, within the family, among nations and tribe is the key to building a prosperous, cohesive society where no one has to live in fear of the other.

The other word for Islam would be Justice that is not what you see in the world today. Neither do you see Jesus's teachings practiced by Christians or Jews follow Torah or Bhagavad Gita by Hindus?

To me all religions are equally beautiful and divine; no religion is superior or inferior to any. If any on claims superiority, he or she does not understand the nature of his or her faith. Religion is not about arrogance which kills relationships and balance in the society, but it is about humility, that which builds bridges between people.

Dr. Mike Ghouse is committed to building a cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day. His new book, the “American Muslim Agenda” is about everything you wanted to know about Muslims. The book is available at Xlibris and Amazon. Mike is a public speaker, author, interfaith wedding officiant, and the executive director of the Center for Pluralism in Washington, DC. More about him at https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeghouse/